This week’s completely ridiculous news roundup takes us to Uganda, where the president of the country is considering releasing an album after a rap he performed became a smash hit on the radio and in nightclubs. Oh yeah, the guy is 67 years old, by the way. If you look at other current and past world leaders, who do you believe would be good rappers or even musicians? Could you imagine Angela Merkel busting down some beats? Or either of the former Presidents Bush getting jiggy with it? Or Silvio Berlusconi trying to impress the young ladies with some hip hop beats? (Apparently, Berlusconi has allegedly been doing another type of hiphopping with young ladies in Italy, but that’s another story…)
Our next stop on the ridiculous roundup tour this week takes us to Arlington Heights, Illinois, where a teen allegedly poisoned some goldfish after robbing a home. Why did he do this, you ask? Because he is mean spirited and cruel? (well yes, I suppose he is, but that’s not why he did it). Because he hates animals? Nope. He confessed that he poisoned the fish with condiments and hot sauce because he didn’t want to leave any witnesses to his crime. Come on dude. You’ve got to be kidding. On what planet are goldfish part of neighbourhood watch? I wish I could make this stuff up. Ridiculous.
And if things could not get any more ridiculous, the final stop on this week’s tour of completely ridiculous news is Sarasota, Florida. A homeless man had been jailed on some charges. When doing a routine check of his cell block, corrections officials found the suspect hiding 30 items in a condom, in his rectum. Some of the items hidden in the condom, in his rectum, included a lighter, a pharmacy receipt, a lip balm, and a coupon. All I can say is that that coupon must have been for a really really good deal. Just completely ridiculous.
